Wednesday, July 5, 2017

Spiteful Ode to a Butter Fly

Butterfly, DAMN butterfly.
You're not a real butterfly.
You're just a normal fly,
which sat upon my butter
that's why I'm gonna now,
I'm gonna fetch the swatter.
And I will surely avenge
my now infected butter,
for it's the only thing
which in my life does matter.

You sat on my left cheek.
Some say it is a bless.
But if on me I hit you,
my own face I will mess.

So go away fly,
go away.
Shit down on your path you lay.

I don't want you in my kitchen
and I hate your buzz to listen.
I don't like you as a pet
You're just here for my neck's sweat.

Did I get you?
Did I not?
To find the body I cannot.

So I sit on triumph's verge,
while you, from behind emerge.
And you fly to the next room,
cunningly delaying your doom.

Fly you toadfood!
Fly you cunt!
I will get you when you land.

* * *

* Traditional anti-fly song by the peoples of Swamp Cukoucukacou, during the first Swamplordiness election. The toads won that time, with the mosquitoes coming very close, contrary to the general belief that the Electric Racketman has always claimed lordship.
First published in Kernel Kiki's 1894 poem and song collection, titled “Silliously?”

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

News - Introducing News and Rev. Fitz's Challenge

Welcome to News, where we talk about the past.

The following series is created by the exceptionally perceptive writer and cartoonist (among others) Rev. Fitz
It follows Malcolm Steadman along his early-morning meteor shower of ominous realizations, while he only does what he believes to be “nothing”.

It's the simple stuff that get you nervous.
The inescapable, mundane activities you have to go through in order to be and therefore think.

Every little detail of that small around you. They perpetually repeat before your eyes until reality's colors fade away and the things which were previously defined and common, are now something new.

They have become a question.

A completely unexpected and superficially illogical one, yet enough to fire the engines of an inevitable train of thought.

It can be anything, really.
Like breakfast.

Malcolm Steadman has breakfast every day and every day he has mixed feelings about it.

It's witty, humorous and contemplative and bottom line is I enjoy it a lot. It's as enjoyable as if food for thought is actually ice cream and you just realized you're not lactose intolerant.
So check it out.

Also, check out the “31 Days of First Impressions Challenge” he started: Day 23: Denham's Dentifrice
Every day he's judging yet another book by its cover. He was kind to speak his mind about Denham's Dentifrice.

That's all for now.
News Out.

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Once Upon in Al' Dah Kash

Once upon a time, there was a sultan who was mostly stingy, and enjoyed counting his money and numerous possessions more than anything.

His name was Gamblar O' Nseex the Third and he ruled the kingdom of Al' Dah Kash with a perspective of scales and gold. It was no secret that he also had a penchant for acquiring items of disputable use, if he reckoned them to be at a “bargain” price. As a result, his court was commonly populated with numerous traveling merchants from every distant land, who came to offer their goods, always at some great rate made especially for the sultan.

Monday, March 27, 2017

The Blooms of Perennial Wisdom: Chapter 5

The manor was not the most pleasant of places to be alone in.

Theodore was slightly rocking, silent on the chair. Outside, in the absence of wind, the rain was falling vertically along the surfaces and it sounded so orchestrated, so even, like a sequence of notes repeating over and over. Lost inside a reverie of new-found realizations, shades of mystery and dread emerged to darken his mind. Like pieces in a dreamed-of puzzle the memories came together, creating menacing, strangely familiar shapes.

He remembered now; the man at the bar.
What he had said.