Showing posts with label P.H.Clockword's Ramblings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label P.H.Clockword's Ramblings. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 28, 2021

An Exclusive Interview with P. H. Clockword

 

Great Adventures & Whimsical Disembowelment (GAWD) periodical probably presents an exclusive interview with belly button fluff collector and irreverent quote enthusiast, the totally existing cosmic bard, that is, sir P.H.Clockword (PHC).


GAWD: Welcome sir Clockword. It is an honor to hold you here against your will. Why is it that you rarely give interviews?

PHC: Oh but indubitably, the honor is all yours. The answer to your question is: because, I don't always exist.

GAWD: Can you elaborate?

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Comments by P.H.Clockword on stuff

On Creativity
Be creative.

On Time Travel
The future is uncertain. I went there and I personally asked it. It is confused whether it is really the future or the future present, which makes it more of another present than actually the future. Same goes for the past, but it's convinced that's it's a tense and not a time. I don't recommend it. Bottom line is.

On God
Version one was the biggest mistake I ever made. It had a lot of bugs and really, wasn't ready for release. Thankfully, due to your continuous support and feedback version two is and will continue to be - despite the beliefs of several skeptical infidels, working as intended.

On Babies
Delicious!

On Coconuts
Coconuts are the best breed of scientists as their achievements have surpassed all the others' in the fruit world. Their skills in art and fruitosophy are not mere either and to quote the revered fruit cake professor Coco the Nut: “What is brown and hard on the outside, if not acknowledged fruitless, it can prove white and milky on the inside”

On Death
Not the most pleasant guy to hang around with. He has a morbid sense of humor and a lack of basic personal hygiene. Many phobias and complexes too. Once I told him, after he confessed to me about his fear of reapers: “Hey Death, don't fear the reaper”. And next day he got up early and went to the store where he bought a chainsaw, which made his job a bit more expensive but much more relaxing.

On People
People are strange when you're a stranger and strangers when you are strange. Still I prefer coconuts.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Juxtaposition of thoughts (or where it all started)

Welcome friend to this futile yet extraordinary piece of art. I, Phineas Clockword, take the cumbersome burden that the responsibility of letting you further into these pages bestows upon me. But let’s make some things distinct.
First of all I don’t know who you are, thus we are not friends, so I’ll just call you stranger for the sake of politeness you possess to actually waste time on such a trivial read.
Secondly I’m not really named Phineas Clockword, that is just a name I chose for myself since my real name is neither that cool sounding nor granting me that veil of mysteriousness this one enfolds. (plus you get to wonder why did he choose this? Does it mean something? And such barren thoughts).
Enough of me though, I bet my hat you have more useful things to meddle with, than read me babbling incomprehensively about exorbitantly magnified raphanus sativus. Have a nice day and let the poo stay true!