Great Adventures & Whimsical Disembowelment (GAWD) periodical probably presents an exclusive interview with belly button fluff collector and irreverent quote enthusiast, the totally existing cosmic bard, that is, sir P.H.Clockword (PHC).
GAWD: Welcome sir Clockword. It is an honor to hold you here against your will. Why is it that you rarely give interviews?
PHC: Oh but indubitably, the honor is all yours. The answer to your question is: because, I don't always exist.
GAWD: Can you elaborate?