The sun was already up,
having emerged from between the distant sand dunes in the east. The
girl watched Ovolon as he was packing their things to go. The look of
him; crouching, carefully stuffing everything inside his backpack,
with messy curly hair and an unshaven chin, reminded her of monkeys
eating lice from each other's backs.
“Ahem, so where to
now?” she asked in a faked serious tone and tried to hide a giggle
as Ovolon turned his head and looked at her with confusion.
“I thought you knew!”
“Nope. No idea what to
do now. All I knew was that we should hurry get inside. I don't even
remember why. Maybe it was just a hunch.” she said as she strolled
around him, with her hands behind her back and her head looking up
the sky.
“So we're beyond the
canyon, where the beginning of the end of the world is, without a
clue of what
to do or where to go and
where no one has ever returned from. Supposedly brachobears tear your
flesh on sight around here.” said Ovolon in a semi-serious tone. He
wasn't actually that surprised by this. The fact alone that they had
managed to enter was already above his expectations. “I know what
we need.”
“Brachobe...” started
the girl.
“A map!” announced
Ovolon pompously and waved his forefinger in the air. “If we find a
map we'll
know where to go.”
“And where do we find a
map in the middle of the desert, Mr Wits?”
They both bounced at an
unexpected burst of music getting gradually louder. After
trying to pinpoint its source for a while, they turned their
gazes to the sky above and saw something slowly flying down
towards
them.
The
purple flying carpet with the gold linings and the emerald fringes
approached and hovered inches from them. On top of it big
speakers boomed. The music was an electronic beat featuring acoustic
traditional string instruments and voices singing in an unknown
language.
In the middle of the
carpet, a crouching man clapped his hands and the music abruptly
stopped.
“Greetings” said the stranger. He was wearing a green silk vest, airy pants and shoes with long points which twirled. His mustache was like two black V painted on his cheeks and on top of his head an overly large turban was balancing. “I'm Timotheus, the God of Things.” He gave them a large grin that made his mustache connect with his eyebrows. “And to whom do I have the honor of speaking?”
“I'm Ovolon.
“And I’m... wait did
you say you're a God?” said the girl puzzled.
“Of
course I am. I'm very powerful indeed, you know, like how a God
should be. I'm the omniowner of things. I can create them, hand them
to you, make you need them, destroy them and then create some new and
better things for you to love. We are kipple; we are everywhere; we
will find you; we will consume you. As a great sheep once bleated.
Things are forever darlings” His words were accompanied by vivid
gestures of the hands and facial expressions which instantly changed
from arrogant, to angry, to pleasant.
“Plus, I have the gift
of smell” added Timotheus.
“Well I can smell too,
Tim” said the girl and saw him assume a face of superiority.
“First off, don't call
me Tim. I'm a God, have some respect. Secondly I mean... well it's
more vague than that. Sure you can smell, but what are the smells,
the odors, the aromas? Do we need a nose to smell? Does a nose feed
on odors? And if we didn't have noses would smells still exist? I
think if one was to lose one sense, that would definitely be smell.
You don't part easily with the other ones. Actually, I think smell in
that sense is the most undermined of all the senses.” he became
baffled by his own thoughts.
“Well if that's your
question, smells are just tiny bits of something floating in the air;
some of them we can tell when they reach our nostrils. It's been used
for generations to distinguish good from bad food and basically
enhancing the survival rate of those gifted. Like us; apparently.”
said Ovolon in an informative tone.
“What is this madness?
Have you been studying other Gods?” shouted Timotheus in an angry
voice. Both Ovolon and the girl jumped startled in the sudden
eruption of the God's voice. Ovolon froze in a defensive stance,
ready to draw his bow if their jolly encounter were to go south. The
girl stared at Timotheus with wide eyes and nervously played with the
tips of her hair behind her back. The thought; they might be dealing
with a devious and multifaceted personality crossed both of their
minds. It seemed like an opportunity they should somehow seize if
they were to find some answers to their questions.
“Oh, I'm just joking.
Don't worry, I don't care for this stuff.” laughed Timotheus
calming the tension in the air. “So, back to the reason of our
meeting. I've got things, many many things. Would you care for a
thing?”
“Like what?” asked
the girl.
He took a big breath and
started:
“I've got boxes that
are always full, yoyos that never return to your hand, mugs with open
bottoms and shoes made for fish. Would you like a string-less guitar?
I have it. Or maybe a coconut that's all shell and no milk? I've got
it too. Shy lamps that only light when no one's looking. Pens that
write in impenetrable, invisible ink. Horses and mules which demand
that you carry them. Hair clippers for bald people and mustache combs
for women. Come on my friends, you must need something!” bloated
off Timotheus emphasizing on “need”.
“Do you have a map?”
asked Ovolon. This is it, if he doesn't have one no one else does, he
thought.
“Maps? Of course I have
maps. Tell me where you want to go and I’ll give you the proper
one.” answered Timotheus.
“We are going to the
end of the world.” said the girl. They stood like holding in a
sneeze, waiting for Timotheus’ answer.
“The end of the world,
huh? Let me think.” He rolled his eyes up and scratched his chin,
then he put his hand inside his large turban and pulled out a rolled
papyrus tied with an old piece of cloth. “You're lucky too because
I'm on a total sell out. I'm retiring of this godness of mine, I've
been on duty for way too long.
“And what will you do
after?” asked the girl genuinely interested. Ovolon saw the map
inside his grasp; waving in the air inside Timotheus' hand and he got
mildly irritated that the girl's question surely prolonged his
anticipation.
“Oh, move on I guess.
Another belief system. Something more humble and less demanding. I'm
thinking of applying for God of Carrots. There is word around that
the current god on duty is about to retire too. Rumor has it, he
thinks being God of Carrots is pathetic, disgracing and diminutive to
his God persona. Oh and that orange is an unsuccessful red. I'm
guessing after that he may go for god of parsnips, or maybe radishes
if he's ready for such a dramatic change.”
“Good luck in your new
job then” said the girl and smiled at him.
“Yes good luck, we wish
you all the best and everything. What about the map?” popped Ovolon
who was getting more and more anxious as more seconds passed and the
map still wasn't theirs.
“Yes, yes the map. My
apologies I got carried away. I'm on the edge these days, having to
sell all my things before I go. Everyone will get something to
remember me when I'm gone.”
“So how much is it?”
Ovolon was barely keeping himself in place and not diving for the
map.
“Second please.” He
pulled out of his turban a large metallic calculator with many
buttons and levers and started typing with rapid movements of his
fingers. Inked metallic cylinders rolled on paper typing numbers, the
machine constantly producing more paper. “And with the discount...
if we subtract” he kept mumbling. When he stopped calculating, he
picked up the long paper that was now piled around his feet and
looked it in examination.
“It's free” he said
“See? Total zero. You can have it” he made a move to handle the
map when interrupted by the girl.
“Wait! If it's zero now
with the discount, how much was it before?
Timotheus placed down the
map and took again the calculator “Second Please”
Ovolon's head was frying
like and egg containing thoughts of extreme violence and death. He
barely managed to suppress the emotion into a staring face and a
twitching eyebrow.
“It's original price
is... free.” said Timotheus after finishing his calculations.
“So you're actually
giving everything away.” said Ovolon who was mind blown by the fact
that there was a free map right in front of him and he didn't know
what to do to get it.
“Patience. Things come
around my children. People don't.” said Timotheus in a serious
voice. “It was nice meeting you. I hope you find what you're
looking for and I bid you farewell. Retirement is buried deep in
bureaucracy, I'll have paperwork to fill.” he said as he was
getting ready to fly away.
“The... map” said
Ovolon in a desperate exhausted voice.
“Oh, yes the map.”
said Timotheus and threw it at Ovolon who couldn’t believe he was
holding it at last. The map. Their precious map.
He clapped his hands, the
music boomed and he took off, back up to the sky, exactly like he
came.
“Wherever you go
remember this: If you don't find the breeze, you're not going right.”
shouted Timotheus from the distance.
“What did you say?”
Ovolon shouted back from the ground.
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